How well can you mess up some popular song lyrics?

Remember when some of us [uhhem] thought it was "blinded by the liiight, wrapped up like a douche a lonely mother in the night" or some such nonsense? How 'bout the words to "louie louie louie louie, louie louie louie lou eyeeyeeeeyee"


Ok, Have A BLAST, write some messed up version of popular lyrics, and if you're real clever, you just might write the next Weird Al Yankovic song lyrics!

How well can you mess up some popular song lyrics?
Green Day:





I boff a boney ho


the only ho that I have ever boned


Don't know where she goes


but i'm her only john and I boff that ho.





My crack ho... always has her


rocks beside her


My back goes... and I need to see


the doc or I'll falldown


**************************************...





The Beatles:





Dead man eats bone marrow from the fireplace


Polly's a dead ringer for a man


Dead man say's good golly someone knifed my face


and as his fez fits polly takes his renal gland


Look at me, look it ma


I put on bras, I put on my wifes old bras


Look at me, look it ma


I put on bras, I put on my wifes old bras





when a couple of queers say wow bills a homely gnome


When a buffalo skids, running into cars


they better not call my home.


Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha


%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;


Doobie Brothers? (I think)





Gimme the meatball


You see mine's cold


No wonder we lost with the hockey goal


you missed today





^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^


Elton John:





Lazy eye


Foreign guys


Stingers in my hand





Watch em with me:


Ren and Stimpy...


Aquarium uses sand





Diarrhea...


Disgusting seniors...


Can't he wear Depends?





Blow my nose, it might be cancer...


Count the dead guys on the highway...


A lady found up piece of skin in...


a bag of greasy chips today...





CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC
Reply:The only thing that comes to mind


is how my kids thought the song


" My Country Tis of Thee" went.


I'll have to call Bear,


to see if he can remember.
Reply:I'm C to the H, to the R to the I, S....I'm CHRISalicious!...♫ lol
Reply:Well, there's "Enna gotta Davita." I thought it was a pean to the love that dare not speak its name. Apparently it wasn't about lesbians at all.





There's "warm smell of colitis, rising up through the air", which actually makes the arrival at Hotel California a good thing, as they are sure to have both a restroom and a shower, regardless of all the other weird stuff going on. Maybe they even have some nifty way of cleaning car upholstery.





There's that inane bit about "someone left the cake out in the rain" in MacArthur Park. That lyric is correct, but anyone who's ever been there knows it isn't exactly the best area of town, and anything left there would quickly be removed from the scene--it wouldn't have a chance to be exposed to the elements for more than about 5 seconds.





I have several friends (no joke) who believe "Smells like Teen Spirit" starts out with "Load up on buns and bring your friends..." They also hear "a taquito" mentioned in there somewhere. One of them hears all sorts of foods mentioned in the song. I don't allow him to sing along when the song comes on.





And here's the record for most misheard, misunderstood song of all time in my experience. It's actually a very deep song, but I still know people who swear these are they lyrics. They seem to miss the fact that at least the actual lyrics, while difficult, make sense.





"Would" by Alice in Chains





No, be broke, goodbye my master


Tease me unchild, love air after





Into the flood again


Same old trip it was when I hemmed


So I made a big mistake


Try to see it was my way





Drifting anybody's sole (soul?) exertion


Flying not yet white emotion





Into the flood again


Same old trip it was when I hemmed


So I made a big mistake


Try to see it was my way





Into the flood again


Same old trip it was without him


So I made a big mistake


Try to see it was my way





Am I wrong?


Am I wrong to call to get home?


Am I God?


Left you here at all


Am I wrong?


Am I wrong to call to get home?


Am I God?


Left you here at all





If I would, wood you?





It is, apparently, not a song about drug addiction being a hard taskmaster, and what it drives people to do, but rather one about God and his decision to flood the Earth. Apparently, he gets stuck and has to call home for help to leave before he drowns.





(If you want the real lyrics, which make marginally more sense, you can google the song and band, and find plenty of hits.)





That's it. I am tapped for now. I am still kinda bummed about the lesbian thing, though. I thought, when I first heard it, that that was sooo progressive for the time when it was written... Also, if someone could convince a pastor that those are actually the correct words to "Would?", does it mean it would become a hymn? I'd go to a church if the congregation sang Alice in Chains on Sunday...
Reply:One of my friends thought Drowning Pools song "Let the Bodies Hit the Floor" chorus was saying





Let the bi-cycle go


Let the bi-cycle go


Let the bi-cycle GOOOOOOOOO





now it actually sounds like that to me whenever I hear it.





http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nD7GhxYzF...





I have some more I'll add back later











oh yeah... a conservative friend of mine thought in Chingy's song "Tipsy" they were saying "E'rbody in the club eatin' chips"





oops, I mean J-Kwon. I don't know my rappers. :P
Reply:What?! You mean the words are not "wrapped up like a douche a lonely mother in the night"?


Here's my best shot


"I'll spread my wings and I'll fly to the sun.


It's the best place for a warm sticky bun..."





As I don't actually know the words to that song, it may actually be about questing for the ultimate pastry.
Reply:God knows I've made many a lyrical blunder in my illustrious "fan of music" life. But I thought, in the interest of Weird Al, who is one of the best live performers I have ever seen, I would just flat ruin a popular song. So here's my parody of "Stairway to Heaven"





"There's a lady who's sure.


That this country is hers


and she's buying the key to the oval office.


When she gets there she knows


if our minds are all closed


with a word we will all bow


before her.


There's a sign on the wall


"Welcome to Hell"


And in the distance you hear voices


screaming


In my dreams I have seen


lines of heroes who failed


and who hang from the gallows of


treason.


oooooooo ooooooooo


and she's buying the key to the oval office.


If there's a voting booth in your town


please burn it down


it's just a puppet for the new queen


Yes there are two cads you can vote for


but in the long run


It's just a giant rigged election


oooo oooo oooo oooo ooooo oooo


and she's buying the key to the oval office.


(guitar solo)


And as we walk on down the road


towards the border of Mexico


There stands a lady we all know


And Beeilsebob is how she's known


And if you listen very hard


A tune will cause you great alarm


a million voices raised as one


All chanting "Hillary has come"


You cannot run or sell your soul


Or then for you the bell will toll


and, my friend, you head will rooooolllllllllll





And she's buying the key to the oval office....





(to be fair, I hate all candidates from the major political parties. It's just that Hillary is so EASY to pick on. If you did not like my song, then you will roast in the flames of Hillary's reign! Mwaaa haaa haaaaaaaa!!!!)
Reply:Oh, there were SOOO many we ruined. My best friend was convinced Led Zepplin was singing "...and there's a wino down the road" for Stairway to Heaven, that's one of my favorites.





I just remember 2 songs my daughter had her own "versions" of when she was about 2 yrs old. At least SHE has an excuse. She said to me she was a "cereal girl", too when I had had Material Girl on the radio, and she loved to sing "Don't Worry, Be a Puppy"
Reply:A few of the boneheaded mistakes I made:





Don’t look at me, ya’ pizza’s burnin’ (Stones, Beast of Burden)





She seems to have an invisible tough sh*t (Genesis, Invisible Touch)





Hush hush, even downtown, horses carry. (Til Tuesday, Voices Carry)





I left my reins down in Africa (Toto, Africa)





I wish that I was Jessie’s girl (Rick Springfield, Jessie’s Girl)





Here in my car, where the engine breaks down (Cars, Gary Numan)





Scuse me, while I kiss this guy. (Hendrix, Purple Haze – I’ve since heard many others made this error)